The morning after...Self seater day..

Good morning world!

Although I don't thinks anyone even reads this, mostly because I can't tell anyone I know about this or I will lose my job, haha, I want to tell you all (who ever you may be?) that you should not blog when you are angry.

My introduction to blogging was quite out of character for me. I am actually a very happy kind person who truly loves my job. As I am sure you can all relate, I have had a week from hell, mostly in my work life, but also in my personal life. You will quickly learn that I absolutely hate my boss ...he treats me like shit, but he is truly the only negative thing about where I work...the good outweighs the bad that this fat fuck has to offer, so I stick around.

Anyway, i figured I would share a funny story from yesterday....about one of my biggest pet peeves....self-seaters. You know the type? The arrogant asshole who blows in the door like they own the place, then completely ignore the hostess as well as the please wait to be seated sign. They then proceed to make a beeline to the nearest open table.

One large customer had done exactly this yesterday....marched in, and went strait to the first booth he saw..with his little scared looking wife in tow. Our hostess attempted to stop him and lead them to an appropriate table. (this was a very LARGE gentleman....headed strait for our smallest booth..) He bellows at our hostess (who is a very quiet soft spoken girl) what's wrong with this booth!! No body is in it! I'm sitting here so I can watch my truck! (booth was by the window)..Our hostess then slinked away and let him be..and all we could do was watch and try not to laugh.

What happened next will have us talking for months....the fat fucker went over and after making the scene he just did,  determined to fit in the booth. He pushed and squeezd and wiggled till he was in...his wife just watching looking nervous. He finally got kind of in...his belly was literally resting on the table top.

Ok, so my server goes over to get the drink orders, and the rest of us are just watching as he starts to get really red in the face. He leans over and whispers to my server.."this booth is a little cramped, can we switch seats?" She says yes of course...but doesn't the fat fuck get completely stuck??? Seriously, he couldn't budge..

Long hilarious story short, the dishwasher and cook had to come out of the kitchen, gets tools, and unscrew the table base from the floor to move the table so this idiot could get out. The hardest part of all this was not to laugh in his face, and a few of us actually had to go in the kitchen, cause we couldn't help it (myself included)

Lesson of the day...go where your hostess wants to take you...there is a reason she is taking you there. Just because a table is free doesn't give you the choice to sit there. I always fucking hated self seaters...they are very arrogant people to me, and I don't even like to serve them after that because it irritates me so much....there is a Please Wait to be Seated sign...as plain as day in front of your fucking face as soon as you walk in the door...READ IT!! (or you may get stuck somewhere you don't want to be hahaha)

My Name is....I will be your servant..I mean server today

Introduction to your servant..

Hello,

I am that servant girl that brings you all your food and drink, napkins, ketchup, forks, six million different variations of our menu items, the one who patiently stands there while you argue with your dinner guest about who is going to pay the bill, that girl who patiently lists off what we have even though you have the detailed menu in front of your fucking face. I am also the girl who smiles and thanks you very much for coming in today, right after I see that you only tipped me $5.00 on a $110.00 bill. (which doesn't even cover the kitchen tip-out you cheap fuck)

I am also the lead supervisor at my establishment. Not only do I have full sections, but I am also in charge of all the diva servers, cranky kitchen staff, useless hostess, and lazy bartenders. As I am doing all this, I am also being made to feel pretty worthless by my fat, drunk, thinks he is better than everybody else in the business establisment owners.

Believe me when I tell you...I have some stories. All servers and supervisors in the restaurant business can and probably will relate to everything I have to say here, and also be smart enough to know that of course I don't treat customers or staff the way I talk here...I wouldn't have a job if I did.

This will be my place to tell it the way it really is...to let out everything I am thinking but not saying. If you don't like what you are hearing sometimes, well then take my advice...tip your server %15 or more for good service, treat your employees like people rather than slaves, and the occanisonal pat on the back for a job well done would be a good idea .Also treat your supervisors like they are just doing there jobs, and in realise that if you think they are being hard ass bitches, then you are probably not doing your job.

Hello, my name is.....I will be your servant, I mean server today...where the fuck do I start??